In this day and age, instant gratification is all around us. We have gotten used to having a quick fix for almost everything.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a quick fix for a lot of big relationship problems. Most of them require hard work and patience.
But, there are some in-the-moment tools that couples can use to make the problem more manageable.
YouTuber “Prince Ea” posted the video below that outlines a great 5-step tool for couples who often find themselves getting into intense and heated arguments.
Pretty interesting “hack”, right?
You might be thinking, “There’s no way a couple in the middle of fighting can stop and do this.”
I’m not going to lie. It would be difficult.
But here’s why I think pausing an argument is extremely effective:
Anger and stress can interfere with our ability to think clearly, speak in healthy ways, and react appropriately.
When we are angry, we’re more likely to say something we didn’t mean to, take something our partner says personally, and think in ways that aren’t in the best interest of the relationship. We stop looking at the big picture.
As the video shows, taking deep breaths, focusing on the present moment, holding hands, and embracing are some things we can do to stop these negative interactions in their tracks.
They slow us down at the physiological, mental, and emotional levels.
As our heart rates slow, we are better able to think logically about the situation, or maybe even realize that this is a battle we don’t even want to fight anyways.
And if it is an issue that really does need attention, that’s a great opportunity to get the help of a mediator who can make sure you resolve the conflict without causing further damage.